We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize