I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
