bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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