i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
