Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
