the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
