Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
