I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize