Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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