It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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