i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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