That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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