Banned from zoo.
Again?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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