My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
