actually, I'm a sock model
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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