I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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