I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
