you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
