im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
