i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
