why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
