I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Still dying that you shit outside
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
