She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize