I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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