we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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