I just saw a hot homeless man
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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