just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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