She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Michael Bay diarrhea
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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