did you get engaged???
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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