Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
