I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
