nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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