Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
