i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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