i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He better not be in your backpack
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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