My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
