i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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