Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
