I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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