Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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