i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
