The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
