She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
