I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You ate ashes out of my bong
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