I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize