remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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