Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize