Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So vagazzling was a success
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
