wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
