I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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