Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
