Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
