Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize