Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
