We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
