We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
