you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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