i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
