physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize